Why It Hurts So Much When You Leave: An Open Letter From Your Ex-Boss - Part 1

Dear [Ex-Team Member],

I want to start by saying that I understand why you’ve decided to move on. Truly, I do. Every person has their own path to follow, and sometimes that path leads away from what we’ve built together. But if I’m being honest, that doesn’t make it hurt any less. When you leave, it’s not just about the impact on the business – though, believe me, that impact is real. The finances, the scramble to rebuild, the re-hiring process, the uncertainty of client retention – all of it weighs heavily on me. But more than that, it’s the personal hurt that cuts the deepest.

In a business like ours, the lines between professional and personal inevitably blur. We’ve shared stories, dreams, frustrations, and moments of joy. We’ve worked late nights, celebrated wins, and supported each other through the hard days. When you leave, it feels like more than just a staff member walking away – it feels like a friend is closing a door. And I’m left standing on the other side, wondering what I could have done differently.

You might think, "It’s just business," and “I just need to do what’s right for me” and maybe that’s true from a practical standpoint. But for me – and for so many heart-centered leaders in this industry – the pain goes far beyond the bank balance.

I didn’t just invest in your professional development; I invested in you as a person. When we worked together, I saw your growth, your struggles, and your triumphs. And when you leave, it feels like a part of our shared journey is abruptly cut short.

It’s hard not to take it personally. I’ve spent time fostering a culture where we can be open, where we can talk about our futures and ambitions. So when I find out second-hand that you’ve been planning to open a competing business, or that clients have been quietly prepped to follow you, it hurts. Not because of the lost revenue or the fear of competition, but because it feels like a betrayal of the trust we’ve built. Why couldn’t we have just had the conversation?

I get it – conflict is hard, and it’s easier to avoid those tough talks. But the truth is, I’d rather hear about your plans upfront, [even if it’s painful] than be left in the dark, piecing things together after the fact. Because for me, the real loss isn’t the money or the clients – it’s the relationship we’ve built.

I don’t say this to make you feel guilty or to ask for anything back. I’m proud of what you’re doing. I genuinely want you to succeed, just as I’ve always wanted you to. But I want you to know that when you leave, it’s not just a business transaction. It’s personal. It’s the empty space where your laughter used to be. It’s the sudden absence of your input in meetings. It’s the quiet after the storm of transition that we’ll all feel for some time.

Please know that I wish you well, and I hope we can both move forward with integrity and respect. But also understand that your departure is more than just a change on the roster – it’s a change in the heartbeat of this place and that takes time.

As I begin the journey of finding, hiring, and nurturing a new talent, I know that replacing a team member is part of business, but the space you leave behind will take much longer to fill.

When you face a similar transition as a boss one day, I hope you’ll spare me a moment of empathy, as you learn to carry the weight that comes with your own version of leading and letting go.

Wishing you all the best…

Your old boss.

Stay tuned for Part 2 - Why I’m Leaving: An Open Letter to My Boss and Mentor

 

Contributed by Jade Scott

Jade Scott is a leading identity within Australia’s allied health community. Having successfully established a number of osteopathy clinics in Victoria Jade recognised an opportunity to create meaningful change and innovation within the Allied Health Industry.